I'm sure you know the song "Down Under" by Men at Work..."Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder?" Well, this post is not about that song - even though it's a great song. Naw, Men at Work frontman Colin Hay does acoustic albums now, which I discovered several years ago. One of the most memorable is "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin". (YouTube it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvrzqcfv9mY)
I admit that, against my better judgment, contrary to the knowledge of the things I know to be true, I have lived long periods of my life with this mindset. That someday soon, next month, six months from now, next year, "real life" will finally begin. Like I'm waiting for something. Like I'm just in the first chapter of the book of my life and we're just trying to get all the back story out of the way.
I know that this is a shallow, lazy, and unfaithful mindset, yet I continue to come back to it. I think Paul hits the nail on the hammer when he says in Romans 7: "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." That's not an excuse, though - just an acknowledgement that I can do very little, if anything at all, without God's help. Even now, I am planning and waiting and regarding my present time as just something to "finish up" before the next stage of life, instead of fully embracing the time here as purposeful and God-given. That's how I regarded last summer, how I regarded the last couple years of college, last two years of high school, etc.
This post is not going to have a neat, self-revelatory, problem-solving ending. It's merely a confession. Maybe you can empathize with it.
In a few months, I will be moving back to the US. I don't expect that my "real life" will begin then. It's happening now, and I'm missing it because I'm dreaming about slaying dragons. (Not literally, I haven't dreamed about dragons in a while...)
Life is not a dream, and dragons are real. They just don't always look like dragons.
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll stand on the bow
When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path
And up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my own steps once again.
Don't you understand?
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin.
I admit that, against my better judgment, contrary to the knowledge of the things I know to be true, I have lived long periods of my life with this mindset. That someday soon, next month, six months from now, next year, "real life" will finally begin. Like I'm waiting for something. Like I'm just in the first chapter of the book of my life and we're just trying to get all the back story out of the way.
I know that this is a shallow, lazy, and unfaithful mindset, yet I continue to come back to it. I think Paul hits the nail on the hammer when he says in Romans 7: "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." That's not an excuse, though - just an acknowledgement that I can do very little, if anything at all, without God's help. Even now, I am planning and waiting and regarding my present time as just something to "finish up" before the next stage of life, instead of fully embracing the time here as purposeful and God-given. That's how I regarded last summer, how I regarded the last couple years of college, last two years of high school, etc.
This post is not going to have a neat, self-revelatory, problem-solving ending. It's merely a confession. Maybe you can empathize with it.
In a few months, I will be moving back to the US. I don't expect that my "real life" will begin then. It's happening now, and I'm missing it because I'm dreaming about slaying dragons. (Not literally, I haven't dreamed about dragons in a while...)
Life is not a dream, and dragons are real. They just don't always look like dragons.
1 comment:
Do please enjoy the time you have left in Wales.
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