10 tried and true methods of losing your cell phone

How did we ever communicate before cell phones?  They keep us connected to everyone and get us out of jams, if we don't lose or forget them.  Maybe you never forget your phone, but I do.  I wonder if the subconsciouses of those of us who forget our phones are trying to tell us that we would be better off without the barnacle in our pocket all the time (although, my subconscious may be trying to get rid of my baby-butt-pink phone permanently).  It's not hard to lose your phone.  I lose my phone in many different ways on a weekly, sometimes semi-weekly basis.  I'm pretty much a pro, so I'm going to give you some pointers.

1. Put it in a pocket you never use.   After searching every pocket you normally store your phone in and pretty much given up, you will accidentally stick your hand in the pocket you have never used in your life, and voila!  Phone.
2. After your friendly phone wakes you up in the morning, slide it under the covers of your bed as you stumble toward the coffeemaker.  If you don't get to stay in the cozy covers, at least somebody (or something) does.
3. Put it in the door of your car, then exit the car.
4. Keep it in an open pocket so that it slips out when you put your bag down.
5. Leave it in the bathroom.
6. Place it on the counter, then put your groceries on top of it.
7. Put it in your bag, then take it out, and leave.
8. Leave it in a room or building that will be locked after you leave it.
9. Put it in your pants pocket, then change your pants.
10. Use it, then put it down.

This way, you'll search every place you normally put your phone and retrace your steps before you finally decide that you've actually lost your mind rather than your phone.  About 5 minutes after loss of mind, you'll find your phone.  Trust me.  I speak from experience.